A thoughtful exploration of identity and unmasking in autism, focusing on the deeply personal process that can unfold when autistic children no longer feel compelled to hide who they are.
In The William Gomes Podcast episode “Rebuilding Identity: Who Autistic Children Become After Masking Falls Away,”William Gomes examines what happens when children who have spent years suppressing discomfort, copying others, and pushing themselves to fit in begin to respond more honestly to their internal experience. The episode explains how prolonged masking can distance children from their natural reactions, preferences, and sense of self.
When Masking Begins to Fall Away
The discussion explores why the rediscovery of identity can feel emotional, uncertain, or even unsettling, particularly after long periods of adapting to external expectations. Gomes explains that unmasking is not a sudden transformation, but a gradual process in which children begin to test safety, trust their sensory experience, and explore who they are without pressure to perform.
These moments are presented not as instability, but as signs of emerging honesty and self-awareness.
Supporting Identity With Sensitivity and Care
A central focus of the episode is how families and caregivers can support this stage with sensitivity. Gomes highlights the importance of:
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Sensory honesty and validation
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Authentic, pressure-free communication
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Allowing interests and preferences to develop at an individual pace
Rather than directing identity or accelerating progress, the episode encourages adults to create environments where curiosity, safety, and acceptance can guide development.
Unmasking as Growth, Not Regression
The episode reframes unmasking not as regression or loss, but as a moment of courage and truth. When children are given the space to uncover who they really are, Gomes argues, they can begin to grow from a place of safety, confidence, and genuine self-understanding.
This perspective invites adults to see change not as something to control, but as something to support with trust and patience.
Part of an Ongoing Autism Series
Part of an ongoing autism series on The William Gomes Podcast, this episode is intended for parents, educators, and professionals seeking a deeper understanding of autistic development beyond behaviour, and a more compassionate approach to supporting identity, wellbeing, and emotional safety.
Listen to the Episode
Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-william-gomes-podcast/id1582677051?i=1000740055534
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/395KzDSAmuYZHHxlJ6Qrfk?si=e95a852354f54ddd
YouTube
https://youtu.be/-SH1QnSz7io?si=L2656j-aYDrux4zN
The William Gomes Podcast continues to publish high-quality, neurodiversity-affirming discussions that support families and professionals in understanding autistic development, identity, and wellbeing with empathy and respect.
