A compassionate exploration of autistic masking, examining the often unseen effort many autistic children use each day to cope with environments that feel overwhelming or unsafe.
In The William Gomes Podcast episode “The Hidden Work of Masking: Understanding What Autistic Children Carry Inside,” William Gomes explores how masking goes far beyond appearing calm, compliant, or well behaved. The episode explains how many autistic children suppress emotional responses, push through sensory overload, and adapt their behaviour to blend in and avoid judgement, often at significant personal cost.
Why Masking Develops
The discussion outlines why masking commonly develops, particularly in school and social settings where difference is misunderstood or discouraged. Gomes explains how repeated pressure to conform can lead children to hide distress, regulate intensely, and prioritise acceptance over authenticity.
Over time, sustained masking can drain energy, undermine confidence, and contribute to anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and longer-term mental health difficulties.
“Holding It Together” and the After-School Collapse
A key focus of the episode is why many autistic children appear to cope well during the day, only to release distress once they return home. Gomes explains how this delayed response reflects a child reaching the limits of their capacity to regulate after prolonged effort.
These moments are often misunderstood by adults as defiance or behavioural change. The episode reframes them as signs of exhaustion rather than misbehaviour, and as indicators that a child has been coping for far longer than is visible.
Creating Safety Instead of Performance
Throughout the conversation, Gomes emphasises the importance of recognising the signs of masking and creating environments where children feel safe enough to be themselves. Rather than encouraging continued performance or resilience at all costs, the episode highlights the value of emotional safety, acceptance, reduced pressure, and genuine understanding in supporting long-term wellbeing.
Part of an Ongoing Autism Series
Part of an ongoing autism series on The William Gomes Podcast, this episode is intended for parents, carers, educators, and professionals who want a deeper understanding of autistic experience and how to respond with empathy, patience, and respect.
Listen to the Episode
Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-william-gomes-podcast/id1582677051?i=1000739727102
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1lgjmy24HcPV1SVjFP6Pho?si=49b71f02d2824a96
YouTube
https://youtu.be/_qHCtBqXvgI?si=HOB1XeGbZETllCDx
The William Gomes Podcast continues to publish high-quality, neurodiversity-affirming discussions designed to improve understanding of autism across families, education, and professional practice.
